Meanwhile in Oregon

So after a grueling 3 months of working 9 1/2 hour days at a discount grocery store in Zurich, I earned enough money to return to Grover's outstretched paw. He has lost a lot of weight and seems to be attempting kittenhood, which I respect. He is keeping it real. Maybe he can't jump up onto things anymore, but he is very good at alerting those he trusts to carry him around. He is also still a master of burrowing, which should surprise no one. At night he doesn't want to stop the party and is displeased when I fall asleep. On my birthday he patted my hand and gave me a stern look that said, "my water dish is unhygienic, please replace it". It's his way of making sure my twenties will not be spent in a hovel. To best describe what Grover feels, I must quote Winston Churchill: "a man does what he must - in spite of personal consequences, in spite of obstacles and dangers and pressures - and that is the basis of all human morality".

Grover in 3D

My boyfriend, being the man that he is, recently bought himself the new Nintendo 3DS with money he received on his birthday so that he can play Zelda in 3D.  He was very excited for me to try it out, so of course I named my character Grover and watched him go on grand adventures. All in all, having a character named Grover really increases the quality of the game.

Back in the Day

Grover and I had a wild first couple of years together. Our honeymoon phase, if you will. Looking back, I feel that this haze was mostly fueled by the fact that Grover and I were roughly the same size for that short period of time. This inspired me to make Grover my must-have household item. In turn, I was the only soul he could count on to share cat treats and feelings with. And so a friendship bound for greatness begun. Even though our sizes now differ greatly, Grover still sees me as his slightly-hands-on equal. He still gets really confused and nervous when I pick him up for a nightly jig, and often demands that I let him down.

Hydration

Grover likes to hydrate. He despises the central water bowl as it is 70% water and 30% dog drool, tolerates the smaller cats-only water dish, prefers my water glass, and absolutely fawns over the water in the bathtub after someone has showered. It is important for him to get enough fluids so that he remains strong enough to complete his daily tasks which include trying to stuff himself through holes and gaps, scanning the ground with a metal detector, and posing. Although he does occasionally enjoy a glass of whole milk, he likes water because it leaves no room for laziness.


As you can see, mugs are more cat-accessible than glasses.

Favorites

Grover has many favorites. In fact, playing favorites is his favorite hobby. I, being an observant bystander, have managed to record some of these elusive favorites:

Favorite Sentence: Grover!
Favorite Sound: Crunching
Favorite Water: Leftover after a shower
Favorite Dance: The slow waltz
Favorite Taste: Lightly seasoned salmon
Favorite Emotion: Expectant yet patient
Favorite Expression: Faint disdain
Favorite Quote: "There is no such thing as a good tax" -Winston Churchill
Favorite Book: Jane Eyre
Favorite Dress Code: Formal (tux)
Favorite Bedtime: 4 pm
Favorite Meal: Second midnight snack
Favorite Day of the Week: Monday
Favorite Human: Me, followed by the last person to serve him
Favorite Animal: Dog
Favorite Dessert: Cereal milk
Favorite Movie: The Terminal

Example of Favorite Expression:

Grover's Playlist, Part 6: Curiosity Killed all the Cats Except for Grover

Certain songs spark creativity and self-confidence, and since Grover has declared himself a life-long student, these tunes are just a day in the life.

Cut Copy - Pharaohs and Pyramids, a slice of electric energy that will leave you feeling upbeat and determined.

Buraka Som Sistema - Aqui Para Voces, a flurry of sounds meant to carry you to a higher place.

Hurts - Better Than Love, a push towards something "better", daring you to do more.

The Beatles - Good Day Sunshine, the right dosage of happiness and cheer to brighten any day.

Dear Memories

Back in surprisingly sunny Switzerland, I had a dream that me and Grover were together again. This long distance thing is hard, but at least I can drink my troubles away with coffee...

Dear Grover,

Remember when we held hands and watched How I Met Your Mother and Veronica Mars together? Or how I had to give you thyroid medicine by smearing ointment into your fuzzy little ear? How about when we waltzed around the kitchen while listening to Buraka Som Sistema? These are all memories I will cherish while I await our next reunion. I'm looking forward to doing new things with you, such as going on a road trip and splitting a milkshake. Or hitting Vegas with a pocket full of cash.


Until next time,
Jasmine

Farewell

Today, Grover and I parted ways. It was an undramatic goodbye, mostly because I got up at 3 am and opened my door, at which point Grover quickly curled up in the cat bed next to my shoes. Then he feigned disinterest for half an hour while I got ready and ate breakfast/a midnight snack. I said goodbye to him while his face was turned away in silent fury. A single tear slid down his cheek as I wheeled my suitcase to the car. I hope all the belly rubs and chin scratches he received will help him forgive me. 17 years old and still going strong!

Hats Off to You

If Winston Churchill and Gandhi had had a love child (and don't think they didn't), that child would have been Grover. Grover has the best of both worlds: he is an aristocrat, a great leader, modest, educated, and motivated by the need for independence and freedom. He has managed to become a friend of all in our household, which is no easy task: the other two cats that live with him, Scootles and Cutie (peasant names), are complicated and prone to moodiness, and the two dogs, Lucky and Jenny (see the pattern?), have their own set of problems, namely barking and rolling in horse manure. Yet Grover sees past these physical barriers into something much closer to the truth: he sees in their hearts the same thing he sees in his: the desire to be loved. What makes Grover rise above the rest is his ability to attain this love. The others have yet to stop complaining long enough to seek it.

Grover with Scootles and Cutie, though notably not Scootles and Cutie together.

Grover's Playlist, Part 5: Love

If Grover knows anything, it's a thing or two about love. He knows of the many forms and the ways in which one might express them. These songs are some of his favorite musical interpretations of love, which he enjoys listening to with a glass of red wine in front of a warm fireplace.

Blitzen Trapper - Laughing Lover, a soft and light take on the friendly side of love.

Bonaparte - Computer in Love, a somewhat cynical beat with an electric tone.

The Gossip - Love Long Distance, a sassy explanation of a relationship-killer that I, Grover and my boyfriend all managed to elude.

Booka Shade - Bad Love, despite (or because of) the title a quite dancey and idyllic tune.

Phoenix - Love Like a Sunset, a barely vocal song leaking with intensity, advising you to love all day every day.

Oh the Humanity!

Grover has once again managed to exude his power without the use of violence or harsh words. After 9 months apart, he first refused to look me in the eyes and sat limply in my arms, causing a slight panic. But, after some dancing, petting and singing, he was back on his feet and in power mode. He expressed this by following me around like a secret agent. He fought against battered joints and bad eyes to scoot up and down stairs, heave up onto my bed, and appear aloof. Our friendship was without a doubt back in the "on" position. He picked up some human traits such as drinking out of mugs and indulging in conversation, and I picked up some (more) cat traits such as being covered in cat hair. All in all a success.

Time is of the Essence

I watched a TV Show about the Berlin Zoo today and my conclusion was that all of the animals, except maybe the black bears (they have the will and the means to rip things apart), would love Grover. The camels would let him ride on their backs and give him sloppy kisses, the anteater would hug him (they're big huggers), the rhinos would lick him, the crazy birds would make him one of their own, the monkeys would jump around with him under their arm, the penguins would follow him around with their beaks in the air, and the sea turtle would come up to the surface of the pond for chats. He would be a cat guru that would bring the animal kingdom together.

Down in Togo as Narrated by Grover

So my good friend Basil just got back from two months in Togo. Apart from being slightly confused and talking to me in French (I don't understand French unless the sentence contains the word croissant), he had some valuable life lessons to share. Grover would explain these as follows: goats are fat, colors are everywhere, time doesn't exist, and yams are great. I will discuss these topics further when I see Grover in 10 days or so.

Grover's Playlist, Part 4: Groovy Grover

These are a few tunes Grover and I like to listen to as we lie under the sun with popsicles. And to answer your question, Grover's favorite popsicle flavor is milk.

Trentemoller - Moan, a gurgling gem that will lull you into a state of relaxation and clarity.

Beirut - Nantes, fresh and collected, something to fall asleep and wake up to.

Grizzly Bear - Two Weeks, a crisply strange exploration.

Grover Gifts

I will be having some one-on-one time (this makes me think of The Bachelor, which I believe to be one of the worst and best TV shows of all time) with Grover in two weeks. And I don't want to disappoint in the gift department. My gift ideas are as follows:

- A tiny alphorn
- An expresso cup and saucer (that I already bought) with a picture of a cheery black and white cat on the side
- A cashmere sweater
- a yodeling stuffed animal (this is something they sell in chocolate and tourist shops)
- a swatch

There are some things you just can't express with words alone.

If Grover was a Human...

 If Grover was a human, his favorite words would be colossal, grievous and waggish. His favorite meal would be a dainty steak with roasted rosemary potatoes. His house would be decorated in the Italian Style. He would live in a metropolitan area in a neighborhood with several beautiful parks. His hobbies would include baking pastries, cleaning his bathtub, and using an expensive cell phone. He would be the CEO of an international company. He would have many high society friends but just as many middle-class acquaintances. He would drink red wine at dinner and scotch at parties. His type would be successful and confident. He would be 5'11" and wear suits without ties.  

The Miracle of Life

My good friend Clementine grew up in a household with many cats, but even her feline-oriented charm was no match for her new roomate's cat. A big part of cats who have destructive and rude personalities is that they just need some time and respect before they can begin to trust and enjoy you. They have daddy issues. Grover is shy but not rude, and certainly not destructive. This is why it was very easy for me and Clementine to learn about how to love cats before we were faced with some difficult ones. The success was imminent: after a few weeks, the rude cat allowed Clementine to hold her! Over in Oregon, Grover is nodding his furry head in congratulation. Well played!

Faces of Approval:

 

Grover's Playlist, Part 3: Feel the Waves

Sometimes, things get a little revved up and it takes a beautiful song to turn all that energy into something positive. Grover is a big believer in positivity.

Jónsi - Boy Lilikoi, prone to furry feelings of delight. I say this because in concert they all wore slightly furry costumes.

Crystal Fighters - Xtatic Truth, fast-paced but soft, somewhere inbetween daydreams and real life.

Scissor Sisters - Any Which Way, funky in the best way possible with an ironically provocative message, accompanied with a great happy-dance-feeling.

Tunng - Hustle, sad lyrics with twinkly guitar and light vocals, something to drink lemonade to.

Monogamy...More Like Grogamy

When I was little, I often imagined Grover with several impossibly tiny mini-Grovers around him. But Grover is fixed and, more importantly, doesn't care about romance. I have learned a lot from observing his social interactions: all he searches for is peace, friendship and respect. I am proud to say that my cat is special and he knows it. He is always satisfied with himself, and doesn't regret anything. I wonder how the human race would interact if sex didn't play a roll anymore...the world might end, and ideas for TV-Show storylines would get scarce. This problem would be solved if Grover was made a movie star.

Grover's alter ego-

Grover's Playlist, Part 2: Borderline Inappropriate

Grover is, if anything, a badass. These songs are evidence. There are times when something questionable is a lot more fun than something acceptable. These times are almost all the time.

Cee-Lo Green - Fuck You, a song that promptly dives into solid sound with a light heart and some anger

Das Racist - Rainbow in the Dark, a blur of motion, built on a foundation of crazy

Bonaparte - Boycott Everything, creativity at its finest, if slightly offensive